THIRTEENTH POST

July 18, 2026

I know that I posted here yesterday. I know this quite confidently, because I remember that I went through the entire process: fighting with the claudes, troubleshooting a bug. I even posted from a different computer than normal. I know for sure I posted because I know that I wrote. I even know what I wrote.

I generally write these in the iOS notes app, or directly in the box of the vibe coded uploaded I made. It should have been easy, simple, normal.

except I woke up today and it was all gone. All traces of it disappeared. it’s like I never posted at all, never sent it anywhere, never posted about posting. Even the note is gone from my phone.

I would have been somewhat accepting of the idea that I dreamed it. That’s not too crazy of an idea. Our minds are very powerful, and we can remember things that never happened. This is why eyewitness testimony is generally considered extremely weak; our brains make things up all the time.

I do think it would have been insane to dream about a github commit, without a doubt. It wouldn’t even be the most outlandish or weirdly detailed dream I’ve had this week.

The thing is though, I screenshotted the first half of the note, and sent it to someone. That thread is gone. It’s like I never sent it to them.

But the photo still existed on my phone. It’s not even in my icloud drive. It’s only the first half, and it makes everything else extremely confusing. The thing I wrote was a small post, sent midday, feeling like I had glitched.

Here is what it said:

I woke up today very out of sync. my body has been reacting to something by throwing a tantrum. I’m unsure if it’s the medicine, the smog, the state of the world or just all of it.

i feel very rushed. like i don’t fit neatly into the time boxes i have allocated for myself. i will rant about calendars as a container here later but there’s a fly on my leg and its pussing me off and i have calls i have to make and sequences to my activities that i have trouble abiding by

—

I don’t know what to make of this, but it certainly warrants a rare Saturday post. I am on a train, going somewhere else. The weather today was strange, stormy, changing by the hour.

Smoke and rain is such a rare and weird combination. Everything now feels a little… wrong. A little different. Like I’ve accidentally moved into a different timeline. Like I blinked and the waves shifted, like I’m in a different ocean.

Only time will tell if any of this makes sense. Maybe I have a false memory. Maybe I got hit with a secret laser beam that can implant false memories. Maybe I did dream it, intensely enough that I somehow forced an apple note into creation. Maybe words are spells, maybe meaning is divorcing from language.

Maybe I am losing my mind. Maybe we all are.